September 1, 2010 Unshakable Confidence is Passionately Heart-based

Good morning everyone!  This is Breakfast With Bob!  It’s the 1st of September 2010.  September is upon us, and for me, the engines are starting.  For me, the 1st of January is a very important time.  The first quarter of the year is always a great time.  And then September, October, and November are always great months.  Of those 2 months, probably the most important would be January and the second would be September when my economic engines kick into gear.

I don’t know how it is for you, but most businesses are kind of like that.  They come out of the holiday season in December and get ready to pay off the bills they’ve accumulated during that month, and January gets much more focussed, shall we say.  Now it’s the same thing.  We come out of the summer months and September gets a little more serious.  Of course, we still have Labor Day coming up here in America.  That’s next Monday.  Then, the day after that, the kids go back to school.  They get out of your hair and people start to focus back on making some serious money in as quick a time as possible.

That’s what my life is going to be like.  This August I’ve been getting ready to move into a new home in the next 90 days.  That’s where the focus is going to be.  Then, in 2011, I’ll be settling in there and having some people come to my home; rather than me flying around the world, going around the world and visiting people, they’re going to come to me.  That’s the way my life is moving.  I’m in my sixties now, and so it’s time to have the world come to me instead of me going out there, right?

Now last week’s call was preparation, if you will, for a speech I gave last Friday.  There was a convention I was attending with about 6 or 7 thousand people and my breakout room had about 2,000 people, I think, approximately.  A large portion of the convention came to my breakout room and I got a chance to present some concepts that I presented to you a few days earlier.  In a sense you were the dress rehearsal.  My conversation with the audience was about how to build unshakable confidence; and, of course, my goal as an author is to boil down complicated subjects into simplified language and make them simple enough for the person to be able to share with somebody else.  If they can teach it to somebody else, then it’s simple enough.  As Einstein said, if you can’t teach it to a 6 year old, you don’t understand it yourself.

The goal is to take a really complicated subject and make it into a simplified conversation so that the person can translate it and share it with somebody else, which was what I was attempting to do on the Breakfast With Bob call a week ago and I was practicing, if you will, using you as the backdrop.  Then I got a chance a few days later to deliver the same content, simplified a little bit more, and I’m going to share with you the more simplified version and my thoughts on it since then.

How you do build unshakable confidence?  What is unshakable confidence?  It’s your ability to believe confidently, to act accordingly, and to give off this essence or this air of ability, sharing it with people when you talk with them.  As I said to the group, there are 2 kinds of confidence.  There’s a confidence that’s based upon skill and there’s a confidence based upon attitude.  Confidence based upon skill is what you earn after spending many, many hours practicing your particular subject matter.  As they say in the book “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell, you have to invest about 10,000 hours in order for you to become an expert or a master at something.

That 10,000 hours is going to take you about 10 years of your life, and if you’ve invested 10,000 hours and 10 years of time, more than likely you know a whole lot about that subject and your skill will probably be great enough for you to be confident, not only in what you know but in what you know how to do, and that’s the confidence that comes from skill.  It takes years usually to be able to develop that kind of confidence whether you’re in sports or whether you’re in politics or in relationships or in finances or whatever, it takes time to develop skill based confidence.

But there is a kind of confidence you can tap into instantly, without skill, as long as your attitudes are right.  My goal was to teach people how to do that at my speech on Friday and I’m going to give you a brief overview of the changes that I made in the conversation we had during the last Breakfast With Bob call last week.  I was really struggling with the question, “What are the kinds of attitudes that you can access quickly and almost instantly that would give you a surge of confidence?  It boiled down to 2 things.  It boiled down to the heart and the mind.  The way you access your mind is very powerful and the way you access your heart are both important and they’re both powerful.

Now I said to them, remember that the person who is trying to stop you from reaching your goal is a free radical.  In the body, there are all kinds of free radicals that we take antioxidants for.  Antioxidants are what you take when you take nutritional supplement-ation; when you take vitamins in large doses, they give you these antioxidants.  They take the oxidants in your body and they “anti” them, they neutralize them.  These antioxidants are in a person’s body inside and outside and so I talked about the fact that when we take our nutritional products, we are neutralizing these free radicals.

Well, when it come to having unshakable confidence, remember there are free radicals inside and outside of us.  The free radical inside us is that critical voice that slows us down and stops us from moving towards our dreams confidently.  If you’ve got a doubter inside you, it slows you down.  And then there are these free radicals outside of you, these people who try to stop you or ridicule you or criticize you or slow you down by their questioning and their doubts of you.

So I did a drawing in front of the audience of a simple stick figure frankly, a stick figure of a person standing and talking to another stick figure person who I called a free radical.  I said, “How do you develop instant confidence with somebody if there is a person in front of you who is negative, critical, and doubtful of you?”  I said the first thing you do is you have to look over the top of that person.  It’s almost as if you’re looking right through them, way into the distance, and there are 2 sources of power that you can draw from in the future.  You can bring those sources of power over the top of your free radical or your negative, critical, doubtful person, maybe even through them if you want to, but you can bring that power to you today right now and the 2 sources of power are:

First of all, the enlightened source of your desire to make the world a better place.  Remember, the enlightened entrepreneur is a person who gives first, is a person who wants to make the world a better place first, and then they take care of their own personal needs.  As you’ve heard me say so many times before. When you earn money you should give away the first 10% to your favorite church, cause, charity, philanthropy, or whatever.  You give first.  You become a first giver—not a second giver, not a last giver, but a first giver.

Therefore if you want to develop unshakable confidence, then that’s where you should start from: from an enlightened source of your intention to be a first giver.  Meaning, somewhere in the future, you want the world to be a better place, yes?  You want to have made a contribution to that, yes?  You want the world to be brighter, lighter, better, wealthier, less discouraged, less poor, etc.  That’s why in the visual that I drew, you have these 2 stick figures of yourself standing next to a free radical and, over the top of that free radical in the distance to the far right, is a world.   You draw a world, like a simple stick figure.

What I do to make my conversations simpler is I try to draw them out visually.  Now, as it happened, I left behind my notes of my drawings of my stick figures and my world, etc., for the convention.  I had filled about 10 pages of my convention notes with all these little stick figures: worlds and stick figures, and houses and cars and things like this.  It looked like a kindergarten’s notes and I left my manual or my notebook behind in another So I texted my son, Aaron, and I said, “Aaron, I’ve left my notes for my meeting today.  Would you please bring them to me?”

He found the notes and as he was looking through to see whether they actually belonged to me, he saw all these little inane little stick figure drawings in there and he thought, “This is what Dad thought was all that important?”  Aaron brought me the notes that I had done the tinkering with and the doodling, and he said, “What was so important about this?  I expected to see these brilliant ideas, written thoughts and the quotes that you wanted to relay to the audience verbally, and what I find instead is this whole notebook filled with these stick figures.  They look like a kindergartner’s.”  And I said, “Well that’s what I was trying to do, Aaron.  I’m trying to do it the Albert Einstein way, which is, if you can’t explain it to a 6 year old, then you don’t understand yourself.

I was trying to understand it myself by stick figures; and frankly, if it gets simple enough and easy enough for a person to share with somebody else at a lunch on the back of a napkin, then it’s simple enough.  As I’ve often said to people who are doing a proposal for a movie, if you can’t write your proposal or the thought for your movie on the back of a business card, it isn’t good enough.  That’s why, when Aaron brought me the notes with all these stick figures in it, I said to him, “Watch.  I’m going to use these stick figures that I’ve doodled with (and I did about 100 doodles) to make it simple enough so that a person in the audience who knows nothing about confidence, and knows nothing about all the hundreds of books I’ve read on self confidence, can actually go that night and share those concepts and with somebody else.

For those of you listening now, there are really 4 little figures.  One is the stick figure of you on the left.  That’s you.  Draw little arms and legs, and if you’re a woman, you put a little skirt on there, and if you’re a man, you just have your legs straight.  And then, right to the right of that, would be another stick figure of the person you’ve trying to convince or that you’re trying to communicate with, or at the very least, you’re trying to be confident with, right?  Then, over even further to the right, there are 2 simple stick figures, if you will.  One is the picture of an earth, and the second one, to the left of that, is a picture of a house, and there is my simple description of having unshakable confidence.  We’ve got one more piece to add in just a second.

The first step is for you to be a giver.  In other words, rather than you worrying about what a person thinks of you, you have to be a giver first with everybody you’re talking to.  If they are critical, then you give them back your patience, your love and your listening ear.  You’ve got to be a giver.  In addition to that, in the future, where the picture of the earth is over the top of your free radical, your critical person, there’s a picture of a better world.  Do you want to make a better world?  Then what is your vision of a better world?  What you do today will make a better world, won’t it?

The things you create today make a better world in the future, don’t they?  The risks you take in the face of people who don’t believe in a better world, the risks you take of failing, if you will, or even to attempt to make the world a better place, even if they’re rejected, still means you have the desire in you the desire to make a better world and the intention to make a better world.  That’s why part of the power of the future is to tap into your vision of a better world.  That vision is a giving vision. In other words, it’s not a selfish vision.  It’s you making the world a better place because of your willingness to take risks, and that’s the first step to creating unshakable confidence.

Why do I say that?  Confidence is a heart based thing.  It’s a passion based thing.  The more passionate you are about that and the more desirous you make about making a better world, the more infused the cells in your body are, and the more willing you are to face the criticism and the doubts of people around you.  That means that you’re a hero or a heroine.  That’s what heroes do.  They face a skeptical world and they make it a better place.  They create a vision and people follow them towards their vision.  So that’s the first step to unshakable confidence—tapping into your vision for a better world.

The second thing is a mind thing—the first is a heart thing.  The second thing is a vision of a house at some time in the future, your dream home where you tap into your vision of a dream home and imagine a future that you earn for yourself because of your desire to make the world a better place.  The first goal is to be a giver and make the world a better place.  The second goal is to get the result of what it is you dreamed of having.  It’s your own dream.  The first is a vision of a better world.  The second is a dream of your world being better.  How good can your world be?  And therefore you take your friends or you take your imagination out into the future.  You step into your dream home, as you’ve heard me teach you many, many times here on the Breakfast with Bob call.

So what I did at the speech that I gave was, I had people imagine themselves stepping into their dream home and experiencing a dream lifestyle in all 5 senses:  Seeing it, smelling it, tasting it, hearing it, feeling it, all the five senses, and making it something that they experience.  If you actually experience it enough, you bring that vision of the future of a better world, and you bring that dream of your world being better, to your today.

Then, you step into a spot.  The final piece of the little stick figure art that I was drawing was a little circle around your feet on the stick figure where you’re standing.  You’re standing in a circle, a spot, a circle of confidence.  What if there was a circle in front of you at your feet that gave you the ability to step into that spot or that circle of confidence?

What if you could bring into that spot, layer onto that spot, that circle, all of your hopes for a better world and all of your dreams for your world being better?  In other words, bring your visions and your dreams into that spot and imagine what that spot would be like at your feet if you were to be able to stand in a spot that would give you unshakable confidence.

So I had the whole audience literally imagine a spot at their feet, a circle at their feet, a circle of confidence.  I had them imagine what color it would be and what sounds would be attached to that circle, and what music would they hear.  What would they be saying to themselves inside their minds in a positive affirmation?  What dreams would they be stepping into?  What dream of them living their dream lifestyle?

What world would they be living in because of their vision of a better world and because of their courage and because they’d been able to face the skeptical people around them?  Then I had them step into that spot and accentuate it, to make it more real, and to feel what it could feel like in their imagination to step into an imagined confidence circle, a circle of confidence.

And then, I had them place this shield around that spot.  It almost becomes like a cylinder that you step into, a cylinder of light that goes deep into the center of the earth and all the way out to the reaches of the universe, this center, this column of light, cylinder of light, and as they step into it, this circle of confidence, they feel their dreams being realized.  They feel the confidence of being able to face the world, and this cylinder becomes like a shield, a shield that protects you from these free radicals outside of you that speak negative words and criticisms and doubts.

It’s almost as if, when you’re standing in your circle of confidence when somebody speaks a negative thought, this shield bounces their words off and translates the negative words that they say, and slows down the criticism from when it really can hurt.  All of us have sensitivity to criticism.  I do.  You do.  Everybody does.  If somebody says something, it hurts immediately.  What the shield does, is it slows down the words and it sometimes even translates them.  When somebody says, “No!” to you, “N – O,” your shield translates it into something like this “N O T yet.”  Not yet.

We had some fun in our speech on Friday afternoon talking about that.  In other words, is it possible for a person in the room (there are 2,000 of them) to leave that room and go back into the convention carrying with them an imagined spot, a circle of confidence at their feet that they could step into whenever they felt doubtful?  That was what I tried to teach them.  “But not only that,” I said, “not only do you need to carry with you your circle of confidence, but you need to find somebody in the convention before midnight tonight, and you need to teach that to somebody else; because the faster you teach it, the faster you get it.”

Now the very next day, as I was walking through the convention (this was on Saturday), I had dozens of people stop me and many of them were saying, “You know I was so doubtful when I stepped into that meeting.  I doubted myself.  I doubted this business.  I doubted the products, but I found myself literally being able to generate instant confidence just by the fact that you helped me create an imagined place where I could be instantly confident.”

Remember, this kind of confidence is attitudinal confidence that you can access at any time you want, no matter what.  Skill based confidence may take you 10,000 hours to create, but attitudinal confidence you can create almost instantly.  What happens when a person goes out to create a skill based confidence?  They give up sometimes too quickly, because in the process, of creating the skill, they have to go through these periods of dips in their activities.  Sometimes, as they go through these valleys—these peaks and valleys, as they are gaining the skill in order to be a master at something—it is so difficult that people give up during the valleys.  They stop skill based learning, and if they do that, then they give up.

That’s why the valleys are where you need attitudinal confidence.  Going through these peaks and valleys of experience as you gain skill based confidence is enhanced if you have access to an attitude of unstoppableness, determination and persistence, and desire and passion.  If you have that instantaneous confidence, then it takes you through the valleys as you’re gaining the skill you need to be a master.  Therefore, they’re both essential in my opinion.  You need the instant confidence as you’re going through tough times, even though you haven’t got the skill yet and you haven’t earned the right to say you’re a master yet, but you have to step in to your circle of confidence during those tough times.

Now here I had somebody who wasn’t that good at marketing nutritional products, who was a brand new associate who was just getting started, who hadn’t earned a single dime, and who was still wondering about whether the products worked or not.  I taught them—in an hour and 15 minutes—how they could have instantaneous confidence.  During the period of time, they were gaining the skill on how to share this product with other people.  Do you see that?  As I said, dozens of people came up to me and said,”Wow!  That really worked for me!  My spot was with me all day long.”

But the most important and powerful testimonials the very next day came to me from people who said, “I taught somebody else how to step into the circle of confidence.  And they did, and they got it, and it was transformative for them.”  In other words, within 24 hours, I took a person who was a total neophyte in teaching confidence, shared with them a simple, simple system that they could share with somebody else, and they changed somebody else’s life within 24 hours.

Now that’s what I call duplication, where you can take something complicated and make simple enough that an ordinary person can teach it to somebody else quickly.  Then that person, now that it’s simple, and because they were taught simply by somebody who was a friend of theirs, can now share that with somebody else.  Now you have this process of the message spreading throughout the whole world and making the world a better place, if you will.

But the best testimony of all came to me from somebody who said, “Bob, I was there at the time you first taught this same concept.”  Although I didn’t teach it as simply then.  As a matter of fact I taught it in a much more complicated way, frankly, because I wasn’t trying to think about how I could teach somebody else how to teach it.  I was just teaching itself.  Anyway, somebody came up to me, after I was done teaching my hour and 15minutes, and said, “I want you to know that what you just taught them, you also taught to a small group of us in Philadelphia about 10 years at a what we called a “Usana You.”  It was a 3 day class that I taught on how to become a better associate in Usana.

People had come and spent 3 days learning all kinds of different strategies and techniques, and one of the techniques I had taught was the circle of confidence.  Back then it was just a beginning idea in my mind and I taught it, and she came up to me (now this was 10 years later) and she said to me, “That one thing you taught me at this one little event 10 years ago changed my life.  Because from that moment forward, whenever I found a doubt or fear or worry, I always knew that there was a place at my feet I could step into that would give me instant confidence to be able to create a shield around me and that would give me the ability to move through a skeptical world.”

So that was the speech I gave last Friday.  I want to thank all of you for being on the call here as I “practiced” that with you and then I had another chance to simplify it even more to the group here last Friday, and now this is a sort of recap for everybody here today.  Now the job for you would be draw the same kind of stick figures in your mind.  If you’re ever trying to teach somebody about having unshakable confidence, remember that the 2 things that you tap into to create unshakable confidence, are vision, which is an enlightened concept and your desire to make the world a better place, and to be the hero or the heroine to carry that message, and then your dream of a better world that you could actually live in, in all 5 senses.

Bring those 2 sources of imagined power to you mind and bring them to yourself today.  Create a spot at your feet where they can reside, that you can step into regularly whenever you need to.  Teach that to people.  Teach that to your kids.

You’ll be amazed how children are so easily taught the circle of confidence.  If you have a young child that’s a baseball player, guess where their circle of confidence is going to be?  Right there at the batting booth, getting ready to bat, right at their feet.  They’re now standing in a place where Babe Ruth stood and they can now create an imagined sense of them being a better hitter and having the right kind of attitude to make this happen.

Our call’s going to be a little shorter today because I have a call that I’m going to be doing with my Asian Inner Circle here in just a few minutes, and I’ve got to be able to do a little more preparation for that.

I’m going to leave you with a final story.  I heard this just a few months ago.  Actually, it was at a church meeting, to tell you the truth.  There’s this young kid, (speaking of batter’s box) and he’s been watched by his father, who is watching his son throw up the ball and try to hit it.  In his left hand he has the baseball and in his right hand he’s got the bat.  He throws the ball up and gets ready to swing at the ball to hit it, to see how far he could hit the ball, and he throws the ball up and he swings at it, and swoosh!

He doesn’t hit the ball. And so he takes the ball again and he throws it up and he gets ready to hit like Babe Ruth would hit it out of the park.  He swings as hard as he could swing at it, and whoosh!  He missed it again and the ball drops to the ground.  Strike 2, right?  He takes the ball and he throws it up one more time.  He’s only got 1 strike left.  He aims, he looks at it carefully and he swings at it will all his might  Whoosh!  The ball drops to the ground.  Strike 3.

Now the father’s watching and saying, “Wow!”  What a confidence destroying exercise that he’s watched his son go through, and his son is a little dejected there for a minute.  Then finally a thought pops into his head and he smiles to himself and says, “What a pitcher!”

You know, in every experience of your life, there is something good in the process.  It may appear to be a bad thing, but there’s always some mastery thing going on, and this kid, although he struck out, it was, in a sense, because the pitcher was so good.

Find that for yourself today.  Step into your circle of confidence today is my challenge to you, my hope to you, and my prayer for you.  My desire for you is that you make this day a better day.

An incredible fall season awaits all of us as we step into our circles of confidence!  My best to you.  Have a wonderful day!  See you next week on Breakfast With Bob.